After my NDE at the age of 18 in 1978 — I spoke with my Mother about her memories of me as a child. She told me the first words out of my mouth were, “Where is my twin?”
As a teenager — I could not recall the theme or the conversations I had as a child concerning this mystical theme. The memories have returned. I recall having ‘pre-birth’ memories of a preexistence prior to being born in the physical body. In that state I was combined with another ‘persona’ as one individual. When I first started talking I did bring up the ‘memories’ to my Mom. I never said the word ‘twin’ when expressing the memories. It was my Mom who stated, “It sounds like your trying to tell me about a twin.” The word stuck in my young mind and from that day forward I used the word to associate the primordial pairing of my spirit prior to the incarnation into the physical body.
When my Mom was reflecting back on the days when I was a child she stated she spoke with other Mothers about my testimony. She said she learned that many other Mothers had experienced a young child expressing an ‘imaginary twin’ and they felt it was a stage children went through and grew out of. This is how my Mom treated my testimony. She called my ‘spirit twin’ an imaginary playmate. She told me, “You never grew out of it. You continued to talk about that twin as if it was a real person for many years.”
The theme came up again after my 1978 NDE at the age of 18. The theme was actually reinforced after my NDE at the age of 6 in 1966. After that NDE I ran to my Mom and said, “I thought you said my twin wasn’t real. I went to see my twin when I was out of my body.” The twin concept and my testimony of it was a mystery and puzzle to my parents when I was a child.
When I interviewed family and relatives after my 1978 NDE — everyone of them had a story to tell about their encounter with a phantom figure of a child. My Mom, Dad, both Grandmothers, Grandfather and several Aunts all had stories where they felt they saw me talking to a ‘shadow of light’ that appeared in the form of another child.
My Grandmother told me her story:
You were always carrying on about having a twin that you got separated from at birth. No one knew where you got the idea from but once it was stuck in your head we couldn’t get it out of you. You would be off in the bedroom for hours by yourself and I would hear you talking away with someone. When I asked you who you were talking to — you would tell me that your ‘twin’ had came for a visit and had left his body behind to do so. One day I swore I heard someone else besides you talking in the bedroom. I grew concerned and went in to check on you. When I opened the door — I swore I saw a phantom image of a child look up at me startled and he ran off through a wall. I thought I was losing my mind for a second. I didn’t know if all your talk made me see things that were not there or if there was some truth in your story. When I described who I thought I had seen — you swore up and down that was what he looked like. It was a mystery and felt God was leading you to a truth for the sake of your own mind and left it at that.
My other relatives all had similar stories to share. They all felt it was some type of hallucination that was contagious due to my conversations with them — or — it was a mystery beyond their understanding. I had one Aunt tell me that they felt this mysterious phantom of a twin was an extended part of the family because I had grown up talking about the twin so much.
After my NDE in 1978 — there was a spirit with me in the aftermath. When friends and relatives ridiculed me about my testimony of dying and coming back to life — this ‘twin spirit’ told me to bring them out to a certain road for a sighting. This happened with over 50 people including a hand full of relatives including an Uncle. The sighting of a spirit upset him. My Aunt called me for a visit afterwards and wanted to get to the bottom of the ‘ghostly haunting’ I had sprung on my Uncle and cousin.
We were sitting in the kitchen and I told her, “The spirit keeps telling me that as a child I would call it my twin.”
My Aunt stated, “Why didn’t you tell us this to begin with.”
I reminded her that I had amnesia and couldn’t recall my childhood. She asked if his spirit was present as we spoke. I told her that he was no longer in a physical body since he had died — therefore — his spirit was with me 24/7. She asked how I knew this and I told her, “He just spoke to me and told me he is sitting on the couch listening to us talk about him.” As I said this my Aunt looked over my shoulder and gasped. She let out a yelp and called out to my Uncle. She said she had seen something move the couch cushion as if someone invisible had stood up. Then she saw an outline of a figure thought the smoke filled room. His spirit made an impression of an empty outline in the smoke coming from my Aunt’s cigarette smoke which was filling up the living room.
My Aunt told me to start telling my relatives that the ‘ghost’ that was hanging around me was actually the ‘twin spirit’ I had spoken of so much as a child. (I didn’t know this since I didn’t have memories of my childhood at the time.) When I did — many relatives were at ease because it wasn’t the ghostly spirit of a stranger and more like an extended member of our family.
As a teenager –I found myself exploring the mystery of my twin from an adult perspective absent of any memories or association in words I had used in my childhood. It was like wiping the slate clean and starting from scratch trying to figure out who and what this spirit was to me.