Childhood Reference to Twin

After my NDE at the age of 18 in 1978 — I spoke with my Mother about her mem­o­ries of me as a child.  She told me the first words out of my mouth were, “Where is my twin?”  

As a teenager — I could not recall the theme or the con­ver­sa­tions I had as a child con­cern­ing this mys­ti­cal theme.  The mem­o­ries have returned.  I recall hav­ing ‘pre-birth’ mem­o­ries of a pre­ex­is­tence prior to being born  in the phys­i­cal body.  In that state I was com­bined with another ‘per­sona’ as one indi­vid­ual.  When I first started talk­ing I did bring up the ‘mem­o­ries’ to my Mom.  I never said the word ‘twin’ when express­ing the mem­o­ries.  It was my Mom who stated, “It sounds like your try­ing to tell me about a twin.”   The word stuck in my young mind and from that day for­ward I used the word to asso­ciate the pri­mor­dial pair­ing of my spirit prior to the incar­na­tion into the physical body.

When my Mom was reflect­ing back on the days when I was a child she stated she spoke with other Moth­ers about my tes­ti­mony.  She said she learned that many other Moth­ers had expe­ri­enced a young child express­ing an ‘imag­i­nary twin’ and they felt it was a stage chil­dren went through and grew out of.   This is how my Mom treated my tes­ti­mony.   She called my ‘spirit twin’ an imag­i­nary play­mate.  She told me, “You never grew out of it.  You con­tin­ued to talk about that twin as if it was a real per­son for many years.”  

The theme came up again after my 1978 NDE at the age of 18.  The theme was actu­ally rein­forced after my NDE at the age of 6 in 1966.   After that NDE I ran to my Mom and said, “I thought you said my twin wasn’t real.  I went to see my twin when I was out of my body.”   The twin con­cept and my tes­ti­mony of it was a mys­tery and puz­zle to my par­ents when I was a child.

When I inter­viewed fam­ily and rel­a­tives after my 1978 NDE — every­one of them had a story to tell about their encounter with a phan­tom fig­ure of a child.   My Mom, Dad, both Grand­moth­ers, Grand­fa­ther and sev­eral Aunts all had sto­ries where they felt they saw me talk­ing to a ‘shadow of light’ that appeared in the form of another child.

My Grand­mother told me her story:

You were always car­ry­ing on about hav­ing a twin that you got sep­a­rated from at birth.  No one knew where you got the idea from but once it was stuck in your head we couldn’t get it out of you.  You would be off in the bed­room for hours by your­self and I would hear you talk­ing away with some­one.  When I asked you who you were talk­ing to — you would tell me that your ‘twin’ had came for a visit and had left his body behind to do so.  One day I swore I heard some­one else besides you talk­ing in the bed­room.  I grew con­cerned and went in to check on you.  When I opened the door — I swore I saw a phan­tom image of a child look up at me star­tled and he ran off through a wall.  I thought I was los­ing my mind for a sec­ond.  I didn’t know if all your talk made me see things that were not there or if there was some truth in your story.  When I described who I thought I had seen — you swore up and down that was what he looked like.  It was a mys­tery and felt God was lead­ing you to a truth for the sake of your own mind and left it at that.

My other rel­a­tives all had sim­i­lar sto­ries to share.  They all felt it was some type of hal­lu­ci­na­tion that was con­ta­gious due to my con­ver­sa­tions with them — or — it was a mys­tery beyond their under­stand­ing.   I had one Aunt tell me that they felt this mys­te­ri­ous phan­tom of a twin was an extended part of the fam­ily because I had grown up talk­ing about the twin so much.

After my NDE in 1978 — there was a spirit with me in the after­math.   When friends and rel­a­tives ridiculed me about my tes­ti­mony of dying and com­ing back to life — this ‘twin spirit’ told me to bring them out to a cer­tain road for a sight­ing.   This hap­pened with over 50 peo­ple includ­ing a hand full of rel­a­tives includ­ing an Uncle.   The sight­ing of a spirit upset him.  My Aunt called me for a visit after­wards and wanted to get to the bot­tom of the ‘ghostly haunt­ing’ I had sprung on my Uncle and cousin.

We were sit­ting in the kitchen and I told her,  “The spirit keeps telling me that as a child I would call it my twin.”

My Aunt stated, “Why didn’t you tell us this to begin with.”  

I reminded her that I had amne­sia and couldn’t recall my child­hood.  She asked if his spirit was present as we spoke.  I told her that he was no longer in a phys­i­cal body since he had died — there­fore — his spirit was with me 24/7.   She asked how I knew this and I told her, “He just spoke to me and told me he is sit­ting on the couch lis­ten­ing to us talk about him.”   As I said this my Aunt looked over my shoul­der and gasped.   She let out a yelp and called out to my Uncle.  She said she had seen some­thing move the couch cush­ion as if some­one invis­i­ble had stood up.   Then she saw an out­line of a fig­ure thought the smoke filled room.  His spirit made an impres­sion of an empty out­line in the smoke com­ing from my Aunt’s cig­a­rette smoke which was fill­ing up the liv­ing room.

My Aunt told me to start telling my rel­a­tives that the ‘ghost’ that was hang­ing around me was actu­ally the ‘twin spirit’ I had spo­ken of so much as a child. (I didn’t know this since I didn’t have mem­o­ries of my child­hood at the time.)  When I did — many rel­a­tives were at ease because it wasn’t the ghostly spirit of a stranger and more like an extended mem­ber of our family.

As a teenager –I found myself explor­ing the mys­tery of my twin from an adult per­spec­tive absent of any mem­o­ries or asso­ci­a­tion in words I had used in my child­hood. It was like wip­ing the slate clean and start­ing from scratch try­ing to fig­ure out who and what this spirit was to me.